MONTH 11 - WEIGH IN: 5 pounds total loss last month!

Woohoo!!! There was weightloss - finally! Not great but I’ll take what I can get!

 Its been very hard to loose weight and then when I loose some I just gain it back before the end of the month.. I weigh in @173 this morning….earlier in the month I had been down to 170 but then I gained some and then lost some and have ended the month at the 173 pounds …

I will say the usual , I hope to do better this month…… I started by loosing 10 pounds a month when I first started November 2008 @ 236 pounds ( my heaviest ever! ) …. Gradually I lost less & lesss pounds per month  , I would teeter back and forth until I just lost nothing for the last few months until now… Its been almost a year since I changed my eating habits and started the diet , I have lost a total of 63 pounds as of this morning and still have about 40-50 pounds to go ( I am only 5′3″ )

I am so glad looking back that I have remained determined through it all and came this far……I wish I had done a little better with being almost a year later however nothing can take away the happiness of what I have accomplished and I am happy that I am still on that road and will reach my goal one day!!

Day 318 : There will be weightloss to report!

              There will be some , not sure yet how much but some weightlosloss… finally…. thank god!  I actually started off very well this month and thought I would have an awesome month, then not sure what happened but I gained some back, however theres still time to loose a little more…..

It has been very very hard to loose weight…. I still count calories and fat grams. I drink lots of water no juices or sodas ( occasional diet soda ).. no butters or added oils …no mayos or dressings… only lite occasional cheese. No fast foods… no junk foods … I only eat at certain times of the day….. I also go on 1 day all juice & fruit diets throughout the week and yet I  struggle to loose weight…….. I think….. err…. I KNOW, that its because every so often I slip up and BINGE.. i cant stop or control it, its awful, I dont even know why i do it… I will have an awesome day or few but then get home and for no reason at all just out of nowhere BINGE!!! Not everyday, but like once a week…….. I feel so guilty and full of regret afterwards and then feel like whats the point? The day is ruined and I totally binge more! ! In return I gain like 3-5 lbs in like a day!!  In one day I gain what took 2 weeks to loose and will take 3 more to loose all over agian. It doesnt make sense, takes like what- 3,200 cal. or so to loose 1 pound, but 1/2 of that to gain 1 back–??? 

But I know my struggle. I know my problem. I know thats my weekness , blame it on mood-emotions- or….???  I need to take control and stop having these binges.. I have tried everything from reward foods so I dont feel deprived to just giving in a little to a craving so I don’t binge …I have tried eating different foods, even different times of the day … I see how people become bulimic, how easy that would be to undo all that in minutes….. but no no no..

Well as i mentioned earlier… Yes , i am doing 1 day all juice/fruit fasts a couple times a week.. they suck.. I am hungry …. have headaches and am miserable on them but its the only way to reduce my weekly cal intake and get some weightloss in…..  i have not been working out… on top of it I hurt my back and every move hurts or brings an ache back, so i gave it up for now…

I will be back in a few days to report my grand total loss for the month-wish me luck.. those of you just tuning in, I started November 30th 2008 @236 pounds , as of last month was @176 pounds… I need to be 135 or less to be happy ( will be content if i ever get to 160!! ) … I have in the past been 114 …. I have reported little to zero weightloss in like 3 months now…. those of you who have been w/me thru the journey, i will try to be on a little more often, I hope you have not lost faith in me after all the unsuccessful last few months… I have read some of your blogs and I am glad to see some of you are doing great!!

MONTH 10 - WEIGH IN: 0 pounds total loss -AGAIN

Well its better than having gained weight- o pounds lost in September… I have reached an incredibley looooong plateau…. my body just does not want to budge at all…

I admit, about half way thru the month I really fell off the wagon…. theres no excuse but I am very unmotivated any more.. I counted calories I worked out, I was off to a great start but I can not loose weight, day after day and weeks after weeks there was no loss… I dont know why… so by the end of the month I was barely on the diet anymore and i have eaten all kinds of junk I had not touched in months.

I hope I can get back on full gear but I have said this for 3 months now.. I dont know waht to do- NOTHING WORKS! Yet I don’t gain weight when I get depressed and PIG OUT… I even tried dieters tea-NOTHING.

I hope everybody else is doing good and making up where I have failed.. i’m beginning to wonder if this is the end of the journey and I must settle at the current weight……

MONTH 9 - WEIGH IN: 0 pounds total loss last month

                              Yep still 178. These 70’s will NOT BUDGE!!!!  So sadly no loss to report. As you have seen I was trying to really hard at the start of the month, I started working out every single day to boost my metabolism, I even bought fiber tablets to attempt to curb hunger but it wasn’t working. I was irratable & hungry, trying to super manage my calories and fat intake ….The scale would not budge day after day after day after day…. it was very discouraging.. I fell off track bout 2 weeks ago.. I started cheating on the diet and then eating junk food.. I never really over did it , I didn’t go and eat like a whole box of donuts or anything silly but I did find myself having a burger here and there with fries, some ice cream , pizza , fried chicken  , regular coke ( my fav!) vs diet , some doenuts.. etc…. I did not gain weight tho ( ISNT IT ODD?? )

So thats my report for last month. Here we are a new month. I am now at 30 pounds behind original overall goals ( 10 lbs per month golas )  so 40-50 pounds left to go.. what should have taken me about a year to loose or so continually is extended. I am grateful for where I have gotten but I am still fat , I still cant shop at regular stores or the mall for clothes. I still look in the mirror in disgust. I still feel heavy/fat. I dont look good in shorts, cant wear tank tops or fitted tops…I still have the big belly and back rolls ( I hate those! ) I have a long long ways to go. I am about a size 16 , sometimes its tight and sometimes I can squeeze in to 15, depends on the brands…I wear 2x tshirts now instead of 3x( cant stand them tight ). Regular tops/blouses I wear like a size 14/16 also. Yep-still fat.

 History: For 1st time readers , I started my diet November 30th 2008, I started at 236 pounds. I have lost 58 pounds total. Thats 9 months now , I should have lost like 90 pounds by loosing 10lbs a month ( was the goal and how it started )  but I am instead actually at 6.5 pounds a month average loss now. THIS NEEDS TO GO UP!

It has become routine , my body has adjusted and lives just fine off 1200 cal a day , it doesnt even notice and I cant (and shouldnt ) eat less than that but I cant get my weightloss to kick back in. I really dont know what else to do..So I am starting again fresh this month.. Wish me luck and I hope all have better news than mine.

Day 270: I fell off the Wagon………….

Thats right.. its been a long slow bumpy road and I fell off, again. I have struggled and have not lost any weight this month, again. In fact last time I checked, I had gained a couple pounds…How could I… After all that hard work… I know, I know… I have let everyone down…

My excuse? I got discouraged. I reached a plateau and the scale would not budge… For weeks it did not move… I even begain to excercise at leats 30 if not 60 minutes a day and the scale was stuck. Not a pound lost. It didn’t and doesn’t make sense. I counted calories, I got real serious and nothing. I got depressed and I was triggered back into my food addiction. Yes-ADDICTION-I am addicted to food… for some its alcohol, others its drugs, me its FOOD. Seriously it consumes my mind, I crave it, I phene it ,I want it , I mess without it and if I let myself go I can OD on it!

I started small, cheating here and there… then the full meals slowly got bigger and less healthy until yesterday I realized it was back! My addiction and obese ways were back… If I did not control it quickly I might never get control again…

I started over again today. The month is gone and lost now…The day at least went well until…………………….: 1 serving fish crackers ( 52 ) , 1 plain hotdog bun ( free hotdogs at work - no meat for me ) diet soda & lots of water. I got off work @6:30 I was STARVING-I stopped for a diet soda at the store, picked up a black plum to snack, I had all intentions to come home and make a healthy chicken burrito with cilantro, tomotoes, onions etc.. it was all planned out in my mind, the plum was suppose to tide me over while i prepared my burritio when BAMMMMM! I walk in the door and theres a large pepperoni pizza on the table! OMG! It was cold, it had been there a while , there was little gone, was it going to go to waste…..? I could not help it, I took a slice ( very large slice ) and ate it……. Luckily I stopped at 1 slice.. oh boy. I later had 1 strawberry rice krispie treat (sweets craving ). And there it is.. Now i hope to stay away from food the rest of the nite..The fact that I was good up until that point brings me hope that i can jump on and hang on to that wagon once again… September-here I come!!!!

Day 248: Odd….Calories… How do they burn Naturally?

                                  So I am a little confused….. I am short, 5′3″, I weigh,-we’ll just round to 180….so does anyone know how many Calories my body would naturally burn off in a day as inactive person?  I can’t seem to figure this out-brain fart-or?

       I looked it up on the web , all over, site after site, blog after blog… I found the calculators and everything… these sites are saying, of course as we know, in order to burn 1 pound  you must burn 3,500 cal.. ok got it… thats alot of working out, not achievable in a day…. But how many calories will my body naturally burn in a days worth? Of the 1200 cal. eaten, how many of those will naturally diminish?

             The reason why I question this is that I currently eat around 1200 cal a day and probably like 30 grams of fat or so.. some days I cheat , most I don’t.. I don’t work out alot, but the weight loss is fairly slow and has gotten alot slower.. now these sites with the free calculators are also saying that to ”MAINTAIN” my weight I would eat about 1700-1800 cal a day -WHOOOAAAAAA! And to loose weight I need to reduce cal. intake, the more I reduce, the more I loose, the more workouts I add of course the more I  will loose ( of course never to go under 1200 cal intake ) well DAMN! Then why doesn’t the weight come off quicker?? I am already at the lowest point- 1200 cal a day…… Thats about at least 500 cal less a day, add the workouts and it could be like 700 less per day, x that by 7 days and thats exactly 3500 up to 4900 cal reduce per week… WTF! So add whatever I burn naturally and why isnt the weight coming off lately??

  Anybody good at this math stuff? Does the body just not burn alot of calories per day on its won? Cuz my above calculations is only for food intake and added excercise. What about the days when I am very active and do yard work or run around at work all day and so on…..? Where does all this take play? Am I thinking this too hard..? I am really trying to make logical sense of it all.. I am trying to plan out a steady menu and workout routine so that I can get back to my 10 pound loss per month but without going under 1200 cal a day… I will have to add more workouts, which is hard for me, my time is very limited, but I dont know how much more to add??? ugghhh…. I jknow every bit counts, but I want more precise answer……I have a headache now…I would appreciate any feedback……

Day 247: Hmmm.. How about the gym…?

   So I’ve really been thinking of picking up a Gym membership…… The scale won’t budge…… I am 25lbs behind goals and have about 50 pounds I still want to loose…. I really want something to jump start everything back in to gear.

      My eating has not changed, I do fairly well at staying around 1200 calories. The working out goes back and forth, I work out daily at times and other times i just let it go for a few days.. With a Gym membership I would have to go or would be wasting my $$.. It would also be a little fun too with the variety of machines and stuff ( now that I’m finally at “decent” size where I am not too embarrassed of others seeing me! ) The hardest part would be making time to go, there is not one where I live so I’m looking at having to include drive times….

   Anyways.. I’m not sure what to do.. I need to keep loosing weight! I started in November 2008 and before I know it will have been a whole a year and I still not at goal! Ughh.. If I dont start loosing this weight I feel myself slowly slipping and getting in to the “ What does it matter anyways? I might as well eat the donut- I don’t loose weight anyways! “  and thats bad bad news when it happens and I have found myself going there a few times recently.. I just get so unmotivated when the scale won’t move on days when I try so super hard!

  Any suggestions on a weightloss boost? Colon cleanse posted all over the web…? Some super fruit or…? A good weightloss program….? No energy pill suggestions please… And I can’t do fasting, never works.. I get a really bad headache and wind up eating more the 1st night than I would have on a normal diet! I need some motivation and some ideas… anyone please.. The scale won’t budge…. Pineapple Pizza and sugar frosted cookies are calling my name and I dont see what the diff is if I just eat them or don’t!! ………!

Gym…….hmmmm……….. would I really go….? Or………..?

MONTH 8 - WEIGH IN: 7 pounds total loss last month

                     ..7 more pounds lost for a grand total of 58 pounds in 8 months!!!!!! I am still a little behind but I am still on road towards my goals! I am about 23 pounds behind schedule and have about 50 pounds to go… I WILL GET THERE.

I posted a new pic taken just today, figured it was about time for an update. I started strong last month ranting and raving about an extreme diet plan to loose like 15-20 pounds in the month to make up for some lost time, well it didn’t happen, as you can see I didn’t even hit my usual 10 lb goal but thats OK, I’ll take what i can get and maybe can loose more this month… It seems the farther along I get the harder it gets to loose the weight, I just keep hitting these plateaus even though I still eat right and excercise when I can….. but alls good, slowly but surely I will get there..

 I feel alot better about myself overall. I still am a size 16 to a tight 14 and I can’t wait to shop at normal stores for pants like a size 13 ( most stores like mall only carry up to that size! ) I will love the day I can just shop at any store again! Maybe I wont like the way it looks.. but at least it will fit so I can make a decision!!

I still feel pretty fat, some days more than others, but I’m so glad I’m closer to 175 rather than when I was closer to 240! WOOOOOWW!!! I can’t believe I ever got that big! About 13 pounds to go and I will be at my pre-pregnancy weight ( son just turned 3 ).. I remember thinking I was a COW already when I got pregnant but then I ballooned in to a WALRUS! OMG - I will loose the weight and god help me- NEVER GAIN IT BACK!

; ) Keep you posted!

Day 240: It feels AMAZING~~~

I LOVE IT! I had forgotten what it was like to be and FEEL attactive!! I’m loving it! I finally am feeling like a human again!!!

 I am not at goal, things are still slow still yet lately, but every pound gets me closer and every pound lost makes me feel BETTER and BETTER!!

 I can wear things I have not worn in a long and look nice with out all the bulges and rolls! I dont look preganant anymore when turned side ways! Pictures taken actaully look decent! People actually notice me again!

 LOVE LOVE LOVE Loving it!!!! I can’t describe how amazing it feels and how much I had forgotten the difference between being a fat blob and being “normal”… If your there already- you know what I’m talkin’ about! If you’re not- get on the wagon becuase its a long road but well WORTH IT!!!

( I’ll post my newest update on my weight loss total in a few days ! )

MONTH 7: WEIGH IN - 1 pounds total loss

                                   Yep, thats right, 1 little itty bitty tinsy winsy itsy tiny pound.. (of course if I’d gained it instead it would be HUGE!! ) Thats my weightloss report this month. I gained 5 back, I lost them & then lost 1. I have lost a total of 51 pounds in 7 months. Not bad and not great. My goal is 10 pounds a month, I really should be at 70 pounds lost and weighing in at 165 today……….WOW…….. I can’t wait for that day! If only I had stayed on track I would actually be at 165!! That would be awesome! Its summer time!

I’m gonna try really hard to not only be sure I do loose my ten pounds this month, but that I also try to catch up on some of that other weight, maybe I can loose 15 pounds instead or even 20! Not sure how how this is gonne go but it’s the first day of the month and thats where I am setting my goal! I need to remind myself to EXCERCISE!!! Thats my biggest flaw-I just dont have or make time for it anymore and it would totally boost my weightloss.

      I stayed up late reading all the tricks to 20 pounds in 30 days….. it states mainly avoiding carbs and doing lots of excercise… I am a carb eater-I will crash and burn trying to stay away from them before I accomplish anything and I have managed to loose weight while still enjoying carbs by just eating small sensible overall calorie and fat balanced meals- so I will continue with that only modify a little more: Lower calorie intake a tad-add more fruits and veggis to make meals &  excercise …… Wish me Luck! I will keep you posted!

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