Diabla

         3 days left……… I clearly will not reach goals….. ( 10 lb loss  goal )

                          This month I actually gained 5 pounds! Then I lost them, THANK GOD! But now I sit teetering back and forth on 1 actual pound loss since last month..While I am very glad I lost the 5 I had gained back ( which by the way didn’t take much at all to gain back ) I still am sad that I a am yet again behind.. I am striving very very hard to try to be at a 5lb loss at least by the end if the month but there was a Birthday and there was pizza and there was cake and there was left overs the following day!!!! yep. you guessed. I ate.

             To make up for lost time I now have been on an extreme diet the last few days but have been pulling long work hours so no time to excercise.. On the day of the birthday I actually planned ahead and ate only fruits all day and then had Cake and Pizza at the party- but I had quite a bit! seconds & thirds! No self control. The next day, I had lots of fruits and veggies and a can of soup for lunch but came home and had leftover cold pizza and a big piece of cake ( thats right- a nice BIG one)… But  can anyone see the effort here??? I tried!  It could have been worse-riiiiiggghhht?

      Anyhow, now its definately crunch time… my goals since late Novenber have been 10 pounds per month, with 1 month where I had not lost anything. Now this month-we’ll see.. all along I have said I will catch back up that mont where there was 0 loss- but instead I am now further behind… To think-if I had not wasted anytime, in just a few short days I would be 20 pounds lighter! There would be a total 70 pound loss vs the 50. that means I would weigh 165 not 185…..20 pounds! 20 additinal pounds that could have been gone! gone ! gone!

                               Just days after proudly posting raves on continued weightloss, I am sad to announce I have been struggling to stay on track this month and things are not going well…………The scale teeters back and forth as the hard worked off  pounds want to acrue back on.

                                          I don’t know why but I continually am making bad food choices everyday… not all but most. ** I know I shouldn’t eat it as I think about. I know I shouldn’t eat it as I go to get it. I know I shouldnt eat it as I pick it up. I know I shouldnt eat it as I am eating it. And I regret having eaten after I have devoured it . Then - I also know I shouldn’t have ate any of it at all as I do it all over again. **

But I cant stop… I cant control myself. Hopefully confessing will embarass me to start fresh again all over again. I feel fat, ugly, bloated and very diasspointed in myself…I hope I can stop now and alls not lost this month.. Unless I kick back in to action strongly I will likely not meet goals at the end of the month, which is already behind schedule from having fallen off track during another prev. month..

Its just now summer. I have been so exited at the weight loss and eager to reach goals plus there will likely be a family gathering next month in which I was hoping NOT to awww everyong with my Fatness……. most of them I havent seen for a few years- I was horrified if at that thought that they migt see me he way I was but i didnt want them to see me quite this big eiher!!! I have lost weight but I am still by far quite a cow!Still bigger than any of them remember seeing me! Every pound counts and I want to loose as much as possible by then, instead i spent this month - 13 days of it so far- not loosing a pound or inch and perhaps even gaining some- and wasting time towards weight loss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! WHY????????????

OK.    ((((((((( Deep breath )))))))))   I will get back on track tomorrow and by the end of the month be caught back up to where I need to be-another 10 lbs lost.

Success again! I am proud to announce that I weigh in at 186lbs! Still have a ways to go, but I have come a long ways! Lots of hard work and dedication…. There really is just no easy way-you have to just want it.. I struggle at times but overall the mind power gets easier & the healthy eating becomes a habit….

People are starting to notice and comment, it feels really good. Of course I try not to absorb too much of the goodness because I’m not done yet! Someone asked me today how I was doing it, I was honest :   “No pills, no drinks, no surgery-just excercise and eating small healthy meals-the good ‘ole fashioned ,slow, boring way.”    They weren’t impressed with the answer- I think they were hoping I had found or come up with something quick and cool- nope - I wish! But really I have not. Its been 6 long months and I have about 6 more to go. But I am so glad I started when I did, if not I may be sitting here still wishing I had……..

Well I hope to continue my journey until I reach my goals, monthly I’ll post my success and maybe in between and I cross my fingers not to fall off the wagon. But I do fall sometimes, often enough but the key is to just get back on and move forward! Don’t give up- ONE pound at at time is etter than zero. Luck to all!

                      Well I finally got a more recent pic on here.. oh what little 40 lbs looks like, but how hard it is to accomplish! YES- its true-I have really lost 40lbs, its kinda hard to see in the pics, maybe the baggy clothes?

                  FINALLY! People are finally starting to comment on my weightloss! Up until like a week ago, no one at all had mentioned or noticed my weightloss! Which is fine, because now I get asked : How are you doing it? How long have you been on it? How much are you trying to loose? Do you excercise? So on and so on …..which is OK but some people ask at worst times in front of people  that makes it embarrassing. I am still fat you know and people that didn’t know me before must think, DAMN how fat was she if she looks like this ?? But thats all small stuff, I can’t wait to meet my goal! In about 6 months or so I should be there so long as all goes as planned and it has been. I should a been more like at 50 pound loss by now but I slipped up somewhere along the way- but hey I’ll take 40 lbs any day over zero!

 Well fellow bloggers, keep up the good work! Stick to it and rememebr that one day at a time it will happen! The weight will come off.

What feels better?……..                  Eating that Cheeseburger & Fries feeling embarrassed of yourself in the restaurant feeling like everybody is staring at you or strutting your stuff on the beach this summer feeling sexy and confident??                  Thought so.

Thats right! I am at 196! I am finally under 200 lbs! I feel so great , I am not at goal but feel much better than I was when I started and theres no turning back! For the first time in 4-ever I am not quite ashamed of myself and the way I look.

It has been a battle and it is slow and very hard- but well worth it! I have to stick to it daily but I have to remind myself constantly its NOT A DIET, its the new way of eating healthy. The obese inside of me still wants to eat some junk and pig out at times, but I remind myself of howmuch better I feel if I don’t, not only do I fell healthier but I also feel more attractive!

 I still slip up once and again, mostly the same issue as in the past of just eating larger portions than I should but I get right back on track and have been doing pretty good with portions. It has gotten easier to eat less. Even when I am hungry, I have a rule: If my stomach is not actually growling then I can wait and I know its just all in my head! I know I am truly hungry when it growls and that rule has helped me eat less throughout my day!!!

Will try to post daily again and will add new pics!

I lost another 5 lbs this last month and maybe just a tad more.. WOOOHOOO!! Its been a little slow the last couple of months but some loss is better than none. Thank god I started when I did and I wish I would have started sooner. Its rough but its gotten easier.

I am just at about 200 pounds this morning!! Soon I will finally weigh less than 200 pounds - I CANT WAIT! I know 200 is alot still, and there was a time when I would have died if anyone would have told me I would one day weigh that much or more but I’m glad to slowly be erasing the pounds I had gained.

Its slow and it is one day at a time but there is no other way. One day at a time and you will get to where you want to be- patience. Better start late than never. Better to count the pounds lost slowly one day at a time than count the ones gained one day at a time!

Hello all!! I have been MIA ! I have been very busy but would like to report I am STILL ON MY DIETand I am STILL LOOSING WEIGHT!! Yippie! I’ll give the total at the very end of the month.. I had a sluggish month last month and this one is so-so but I will have a weightloss to report anyways at the end of the month! Everyday is a step closer and I feel so much better about myself. I am not at goal and have a long ways to go but every pound lost is awesome!

Stick in there- thats my best advice! Its hard, very hard and there are rough days and days we slip , but get right back up the next day and keep going, just keep going… you will make it to the finish line!!! No matter how many times you fall, if you just get back up and keep going you will get there!! I promise! It might take a while but it will happen! If you do not get back up you will NEVER get there!! Good luck to all!

I’m up to about 25 pounds total loss since starting on November 30th, maybe just a little more. That makes this last month a loss of 5 pounds.

The month went very slowly and I am glad I at least lost what I did. Most of what I lost I lost at the end of the month. I have been so busy I have not even had time to log in to the site, but hopefully all settles down now and I can continue blogging daily again. For the last few weeks I continued as normal, trying to make healthy choices when eating, looks like it added up in the end. Working and being on the road most of the month made it hard to make EVERY food choice good and there were times when I could not so instead I would try to cut back else where…. I had smaller other meals, or fewer meals etc.

I’m glad I can proudly say still yet I lost 5 pounds-maybe even 6 or seven, scale is old and wants to jump around the numbers, but its much better than having to report a zero loss, so I’ll take the 5.   Hope every body else has wonderful results to share as well, if not then don’t give up, you can do it!

I have not been on for a few days… thought I would report that I fell off the boat and am barely hanging on…any second I could let go and just fall completely off… The positive- I have not gained weight. The Negative, I have not lost any either. Most of my meals have still been healthy, low fat and low cal but I have slowly developed the munchies for bad snacks & stuff.. I find myself picking at Fries, taking about 4-5 bites from a cheese burger when I said I would have one, taking drinks from non diet soda, snacking on a handful of cookies, snacking on cheese and so on..

I have not worked out at all this month either. I don’t know what happened. I got sick at the start of the month and stopped working out, then I found out my scale is off by ten pounds and I lost motivation, and I guess alot of other problems and stresses just piled up all at once… Sounds like excuses but thats how it is.. Everyday I say ” OK! ” Tomorrow I will just pick up where I had left off! ” Abd I do start the next day just fine- I eat halthy breakfast, I have healthy lunch, healthy snacks but then I start to snack when I get home ad its all down hill….Dinner is still healthy but the snacking on junk is killing it all.. You’d think that all the other good eating would add up to something, just something. maybe I would get a freebie somewhere along the way and still loose a pound or so, but I don’t, not one little lousey pound will fall off…. not one.

Here I go again :  ” TOMORROW. I WILL START ALL GOOD AGAIN TOMORROW AND WILL BE BACK ON TRACK TOMORROW….”

…………………THE SCALE SAYS I GAINED WEIGHT………………..NEED I SAY MORE?…………………… I SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING……………………..YOU CAN GUESS HOW I’M FEELIN’ TODAY………………………………………..